Fearful Love
by tillypenn
Summary: Hermione has lost everything so she makes a rash decision and goes back in time to change things for the better. Though she didn't expect it to be an easy task, she didn't expect to fall in love, not with him. And she doesn't like the things she learns about herself along the way.
1. Chapter 1

Hermione Jean Granger. That's the name I was born to. My parents were two unsuspecting, regular people. They fell in love at college, both there training to become dentists, nothing spectacular - just a normal romance.

They met, they liked the look of each other, my father asked my mother out on a date and the rest, as they say, is history.

They never would have guessed that the baby daughter they gave birth too a year after they were married would grow up to be so different from them, but she did ….. I did.

You see I am not what the majority of the world would class as normal. I am a witch. I found out the summer after I turned eleven. A stern looking woman turned up on our doorstep and informed us.

Before I knew it I was on the Hogwarts Express on my way to my new school to learn all about who I really was.

But this all happened a long time ago, or won't happen for a very long time - depending on your perspective.

So much has happened since then, too much, and right now I don't recognise myself anymore, and even if I could see my parents, they wouldn't know who I was anymore. How can one person change so drastically, how can what one person is willing to do alter so completely.

I am Hermione Granger. My best friends are Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter. We fought against the dark, against oppression, we fought for the world. We fought against the most evil wizard ever to be born, and now I am in bed with him.

When my mother was 21 she fell in love with the perfect boy, he took her out, he bought her presents, he treated her right. They got married, bought a house, had a child. Their love story was sweet, it was normal, it was how a love story should be.

Mine isn't.


	2. Chapter 2

I pull my top back on and get up walking towards the door.

'Where are you going?' His icy tone reaches me.

'Back to my dorm' I smile, knowing he can see it in the pale moonlight coming through his window.

'Why not stay here?'

'Tom, you know I can't. Besides I think your dorm mates deserve to get some sleep, we can't keep banning them from their own beds.'

I can tell he is not happy, I can just about make out his annoyed countenance. He starts shifting about his bed. 'I will walk you back.'

'You don't have to'

'It is dangerous, walking alone and this time of night.'

'Nobody would dare touch me Tom, you know that, everyone knows I am yours.'

That made him smile. He got up, making no attempt to cover himself up, and walked over to me. We looked into each others eyes, 'I love you' I told him, we kissed long and hard, I felt his arousal and wanted nothing more to wrap my legs around him as he claimed me once again, but I knew I had to get back to my dorm.

'Tom,' I groaned, whilst grappling behind me for the door knob, 'I really need to go'

'Fine' He broke off kissing me. 'Sit with your house for breakfast, I will see you in potions, don't be late.' He orders me curtly.

I nod and kiss him once more before I leave.

I quickly make my way back to Gryffindor tower.

When I get to my dorm, I quietly slip in, change into my pyjama's and noiselessly climb into bed. It's late, past midnight, everybody else is fast asleep. I know I need to get some sleep, I do feel quite exhausted, but when I lay down in bed I am suddenly wide awake. It doesn't seem to matter how tired I am, I just can't switch off. I know what it is. It is this whole relationship thing. When I came back here it was with the sole intention of changing the future. We had lost, Harry was dead and that wasn't the way it was supposed to be. Good should have prevailed and it didn't. Evil had won and with it the consequences were horrific, I had no one left, Harry and Ron were dead as well as so many others. Now that the battle was over. Voldemort and the Death Eaters could focus on exterminating muggleborns and ruling over England. Then they would move on to the continent and then the world. No one would be able to stop him, as the prophecy had said Harry was the only one with the ability to and now he was dead. Even if the ones left over from the order had put up a resistance, what would we have been fighting for? We would never get things back to how they were supposed to be. It didn't take me long to realise that something drastic had to happen, Luck wasn't on our side, so somehow we had to stack the odds. That's how I came up with the plan to go back in time and stop him before he became too powerful. My decision made it was surprising how easily I found a way to travel back, all it took was the right spell over the right time turner and it happened. I mean I had to invent the spell, but it just seemed so simple.

When I got back here I had to decide how to carry out my task. He was already a lot stronger than I expected, and he had a loyal support network. He was popular and clever, and he had a way with people, pretty much everyone he interacted with he had eating out of his hand. One of the only exceptions was Dumbledore. He was not yet headmaster but the transfiguration professor and he was my ticket into the school. I went to him and explained the little stuff that I could. He helped me get a place in the school and invented a back story for me. Once in I just had to keep tags on Riddle, find out what he was up to so that I could formulate a plan of action. Turns out it really wasn't very hard to do that because we were both so good in classes we ended up interacting a lot. As hard as it was to admit, he was smarter than me, but only just. He just had this really good way of grasping things that no one else could keep up with. I did come a pretty close second though, and I think that is why he started taking notice of me.

Over the months, we ended up spending a lot of time together for one reason or another, and as the time wore on it got harder and harder for me to remind myself who he really was. No I am lying to myself, I always remembered who he was, his mask was good but I knew what I was looking out for and I saw plenty to show me that he was already well on his way to becoming Lord Voldemort, but other thoughts and feelings started to get in the way, and it has all led up to this moment.

I am deeply in love with him. I know what he is capable of, I see signs everyday, but nothing ever prepared me for this feeling, no one ever warned me of how much it can change a persons character. Love is the thing that saved Harry all them years ago, now I worry that love is what will doom everyone. The worst part of all is that there is a little bit of me that doesn't care, the little part that only wants Tom Riddle consequences be damned.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- **_Hey hope you are all enjoying this story, it is my first attempt at this pairing and I am finding it slightly difficult! I just realised that I hadn't put the disclaimer in so I would just like to take this time to say that I don't own anything, all characters came from the amazing mind of J.K. Rowling, a fact if which I think we are all really grateful of __J__, I am just having a play about with them!_

000

The next morning comes and I have managed to get a few hours sleep. I quickly get ready and walk down to the Great Hall with my fellow Gryffindor's. When I get there I notice that Tom is already sat at the Slytherin table with a few of his cronies, they are all paying avid attention to him and I wonder what they are planning. I know I'm not allowed to go up and say hi as Tom already told me that last night, or rather this morning and I know better than to test his patience. I sit down and start chatting to a couple of boys from my year. They are talking about Quidditch.

'I s'ppose you'll be supporting the Slytherins, eh Hermione?' Edward Weasley asks me. Yep a Weasley, meeting him made me feel better when I first got here I can tell you.

'Now why would you suppose a silly thing like that?' I ask him with an innocent look on my face.

'Well it will be dangerous, supporting us, while your sat with all them,' Cranthum Longbottom piped up.

'I guess I will just have to sit with you then Cranth' I smile at him.

'Cool,' he smiles, 'though it's going to cost you'

'What? No let me guess, you want to copy the essay for Binns?'

He just smiled.

'You know I am hardly top of the class myself,' I remind him. In reality I had the essay completed the day it was given, and to an Outstanding level, well that is, it was, until I made the necessary adjustments to bring it down inline with the rest of the class. Being in the past I have to remain an average pupil, the aim to not stand out, one way or another.

'Yea, but you are dating the top student' Eddie piped up.

'He's head boy, it's not like he can cheat, he has to set a good example.'

'He's hardly going to let you fail, please Hermione'

'Ok, I will let you look at it this afternoon.'

We carried on eating breakfast and chatting.

000

Double potions was the first lesson of the day, I got there before Tom so I sat at our usual table at the front of the class. Tom always sits at the front of the class, like I always used to. I never realised quite how annoying that was until now, trying to blend in at the front is hard. Not that I know why I still bother trying, I have already pretty much screwed up the timeline. I wonder if I hadn't bothered so much with blending in, whether I would have realised how deep I was getting in with Tom and stopped it while I still could I mean I knew who he was, who he would become the moment I first met him, but I didn't realise how drawn I was to him till it was already to late. I remember when I first saw him, it wasn't long after I first arrived here.

As soon as I realised where I was, or more importantly, when I was, I went in search of Professor Dumbledore. After I explained who I was and how I came to be here, well as much as I could anyway whilst trying to minimise the damage to the timeline, it was decided that I would attend Hogwarts as a seventh year student. Decided by Professor Dumbledore I might add, I would have preferred to be locked up in a room where I couldn't interact with anyone until a way was found to return me to my own time, but he wouldn't hear of it.

I was then taken to Headmaster Dippet's office, where my invented back story was tried out for the first time - we had already decided not to inform anyone else of the truth. The story was that my parents were nomads, travelling around the continent, learning about magic and magical creatures first hand. I had been taught by them and therefore had had a varied and informative education. However, with the increasing danger presented by Gellert Grindlewald, my parents had written to their close acquaintance Professor Dumbledore and requested that I attend Hogwarts for my last year whilst they carried on with their explorations.

Professor Dippet gave me a quick test to ascertain that I was in line with the expectations of seventh year students at Hogwarts, which I of course passed, and then I was sorted immediately in the office, rather then in front of the great hall like the first years. I was placed once again in Gryffindor, which I hold onto as proof that I was still the same person then, that the change came later.

Anyway as Professor Dumbledore and I were leaving Professor Dippet's office there was a boy and a girl both about my age waiting to enter the office.

'Ah Tom, Augustus, How are you both?'

They both made affirmative answers and then the boy, Tom carried on, 'And you Professor, are you well?'

'Yes Tom, thank you. Let me introduce you to Hermione, she is just starting with us, Augustus she will be in your Dorm. Hermione this is Tom Riddle and Augustus Chilvers, Head Boy and Girl. Tom, Augustus this is Hermione Granger. I presume you will both make her feel welcome.' He smiles, but my stomach has just dropped.

'Of Course Sir' Tom replied.

'Yes, Hermione wait for me after the feast and I will show you how to get to Gryffindor Tower.' Augustus smiles at me.

'I will thank you,' I managed to somehow reply, even though my mouth had gone sandpaper dry.

Professor Dumbledore and I carried on walking, whilst Tom and Augustus went into the headmasters office.

'Are you alright my dear?' Professor Dumbledore asked me when we were walking towards the great hall.

'Yes Sir, ….um…. it's just meeting pupils from this time….. it um….. it makes it real, that sounds stupid I suppose.' I tried to side step the real issue, I couldn't actually tell him that the real problem was that I had just met the most evil wizard in history as an adolescent, that would really screw up the time line.

At the time I had decided that I would have to keep as much distance as possible from Tom, I couldn't risk altering the timeline. However when making that decision I didn't factor in the fact that there were two people involved, and as it turned out Tom was extremely curious about me which meant that he wouldn't leave me alone.

'What are you thinking about?' I am brought back to the present by the same inquisitive boy and a soft kiss to my temple.

'Not a lot,' I smile. 'How was your morning?'

'Productive.'

I just roll my eyes as I look away. He doesn't involve me much in his extra curricular activities, and honestly I am quite glad about that, I find it easier to bury my head in the sand so to speak - not knowing the particulars.

Though I must admit it is starting to get a little old.

'Don't test my patience' he tells me, he doesn't like it when I roll my eyes.

I look back at him and smile sarcastically ' Sorry my Lord'

He just smirks, grabs my thigh under the table and squeezes. I have learned to read his body language, trust me when I say it pays to. I know he is amused and not angry.

Professor Slughorn walks into the room then and the lesson begins.

000

'Are you Hungry?' Tom asks me when the lunch bell rings.

'Not really, I had quite a large breakfast.'

'I noticed,' he smiled, 'I don't know how you stomached toast and pancakes and crumpets.'

'Hey, you were supposed to be spending time with the sheep, not spying on me' my voice taking on a fake offended tone.

'You know, you would probably all get on better if you stopped calling them that.'

'I speak as I find, and we would never get on.' I tell him with conviction.

His gaze hardens infinitesimally, I only see it because I know what I am looking for 'So Lunch?' I ask.

'Well if your not hungry, how about we go and sit by the great lake'

'mm sounds good'

'even better, I know a lovely little secluded patch by the forest'

'really' I lean in slightly.

'mmhm, and…' he looks around conspirately 'I have some honeydukes chocolate.' he runs his finger down my arm.

'Lets go' I say eagerly and he just laughs.


End file.
